


Pink Elephant

by orphan_account



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: College Adventures, F/M, Porn Store
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-07
Updated: 2012-06-07
Packaged: 2017-11-07 03:38:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/426524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wicked Wednesday Submission For MyVampFiction in July 2010 - Bella and Edward and Co. take a little trip to an adult store.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pink Elephant

**Author's Note:**

> Unfortunately, this story is based off true events, and if I had the hot schmexin' that goes on here, it probably would have been worth it.
> 
> Thanks to McGee42 and nowforruin for beta'ing.
> 
> A special thanks goes to vasweetpea for prereading and boosting my delicate ego, and Rason for creating the fucktastic (in so many ways hee) banner!
> 
> DINO CONDOMS UNITE!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. But I do own the Pink Elephant, and I wish I owned the dinosaur condom.

It was the perfect moment.

One hand was up my shirt, fingertips tracing the edge of my bra strap from the metal clasp around to the lace-covered underwire. His other hand was dipping below the edge of my jeans, outlining the top curve of my ass.

I sat on top of him, straddling his hips as I slowly begin to grind against his growing erection. I could feel it pushing insistently against his zipper as his hips thrust up to meet mine. Our tongues tangled together, meshing in an erotic dance from one mouth to the other.

My fingers untangled themselves from his hair and slid down his covered torso, only to slide back up underneath his shirt. I traced along the lines of his body as I pulled the shirt up with determined hands. He shifted just slightly to slip it over his head.

Sitting up, he grabbed the hem of my shirt, pulling it off of me, and threw it to the ground to join his. His fingers tapped along my body as if he was playing his piano. As corny as it sounded, I couldn't help but sing as he played up my spine and across my covered breasts.

He moaned into my mouth, a cacophony of low tones that shot straight through my belly. "God, Bella."

Moments like this were rare. The empty bed just five feet away attested to the fact that privacy was hard to come by. Privacy in the dorms was pretty much nonexistent, especially when your roommate didn't own a car. Not that Angela and I didn't get along, but a girl couldn't even masturbate without getting caught. Everyone reaches a point where they just want their roommate to walk off the face of the planet for some much needed alone time.

Or in my case - a space to make out with my boyfriend.

Edward and I hardly had any alone time and our snoggings were usually limited to our cars. It had been at least a month since the last time we had sex. We tried last week in the back seat of his car, before we were interrupted by Emmett rapping on the window and pressing his naked ass against the glass.

That's one way to lose the moment: become close friends with your boyfriend's brother's hairy butt cheeks.

I couldn't help but moan as Edward traced his lips down my neck, nibbling now and then. His fingers clutched at my bra clasp, preparing to unhook it and bring our bare chests together. My nipples tingled in anticipation as I grabbed onto my purple comforter.

"I hope everyone's fucking dressed because I'm coming in!" Emmett's booming voice reverberated around the room, closely followed by Alice's high-pitched laughter.

A tidal wave of emotions ran through me as my humiliation tried to freeze my pleasure-filled trembling body. I simultaneously wanted to stab Alice and Emmett's eyes out with the sharpies on my desk, and just say fuck it all and continue schmexing with Edward right in front of them.

"Whoa, Bella!" Emmett said, pulling my desk chair up to the side of my bed. "Nice tattoo."

He reached out toward my lower back. One disgusting fingertip was able to trace along the inked pink petals before Edward swatted it away. "Don't fucking touch my girlfriend, asshole." He pulled me closer with his other hand, wrapping his arm around my torso and squishing our chests together. If we hadn't had two other people in the room, I might have gotten my nasty on.

Alice picked up my shirt and threw it at me. "Come on, guys. Get dressed. We've got places to go and people to see."

I pulled away from Edward, his hands reluctantly letting me go, and slipped the shirt over my head. "What the fuck, you guys? Ever heard of knocking?"

"If your door is unlocked, it's free for all."

Edward grumbled as he swung his legs over the bed. Emmett laughed and slapped him on the back. "It looks like Eddie Jr. still wants to come out and play."

"Shut the fuck up. What do you assholes want?"

"We're bored," Alice whined, shimmying onto the bed between Edward and I.

"How is that our problem?" I asked, sarcasm practically dripping from my lips.

"Because you're my best friend, and you're supposed to entertain me on Fridays."

"Alice," I reprimanded, grabbing her by the shoulders, "you do realize this is the first time Angela has gone home all quarter, right?"

Her lips curved down in a pout. "But we wanted to go to Castles."

"What the fuck do you need us for?"

"We don't have a car," Alice whined.

Edward finished pulling a shoe on before sitting upright. "Castles? Isn't that a porn store?"

Emmett laughed. "The biggest one Spokane has to offer. Come on. We can go find Eddie Jr. and Bella something fun to play with."

I shook my head. "Dear lord, if this wasn't embarrassing enough. I'm not going to a porn store."

"Come on, Bells!" Emmett cried. "You're in college. Live a little."

I grimaced. "Living a little does not include going to a place filled with dildos and edible lube. We might as well drive down Sprague and find us some hookers."

A scary light brightened Emmett's eyes. "You think we could really find one?"

"Get the fuck out of here, dude," Edward said, pushing Emmett from the chair. He fell into a dramatic heap on the floor, clutching at himself as if he were hurt...the fucker.

"Now you've gone and done it!" he said. "You've injured my poor wiener and now we need to go find a remedy for it at Castles.

Right...

Alice laughed and picked up on her opportunity, jumping from the bed and grabbing at the two sets of car keys on my dresser. "So, Volvo or truck?"

We ended up all climbing into Edward's Volvo, and driving the forty-five minutes to Castles. It was hard to spot at first. The nondescript building sat in a darkened corner. The only thing advertising it for what it was: a white sign with bold script across, depicting the name.

From the outside, you never would have guessed what lay inside. It's painted-over windows hid walls of dildos, x-rated movies, and edible lube of every flavor. Emmett went bat shit over the various condoms covering an entire wall.

"Holy fuck!" he squealed, waving a foil packet in the air at us. "It's a fucking dinosaur condom! I'm totally putting this on my wiener the next time Rosie comes to my room for a quickie."

My jaw dropped and I couldn't help but snicker as Edward steered me away from the grown man acting like a five year old in a porn store. We meandered along the movies' section, laughing at titles such as Cherry Lips and Lacey Thighs.

We stopped at the "room" section and jokingly tried out the various objects put on display. The sex swing was somewhat fun. It was making me wish I had requested a single bedroom, so that I could have bought it and tried it out for real.

"Come on, Bella." Edward laughed. "Let's buy it. It would be fun."

"I am not putting a dancing pole up in my dorm room, Edward." I rolled my eyes as he grabbed onto the metal and swung his body around it.

"We could have some pretty sexy times with this thing."

"Yeah? With Angela watching from the bed?"

"We could save it for when she's gone," Edward said between laughs, abandoning the pole and wrapping his arm around my waist, pulling me close.

"Bella!" Alice yelled from across the store, waving to us from the cash register. "Look at what I bought!"

Grabbing her purchase, she rushed to my side and pushed the object into my hands. A bright pink penis waved 'hi' to me from my palm. The tip rotated in circles, preceded by pearls swirling along the shaft. A small elephant, in place of the balls, had a flickering trunk to complete the ensemble.

"A dildo?"

"It was only eight bucks." Alice smiled. "Clearance."

On the way back to Cheney, Emmett and Alice amused themselves with their purchases in the back seat as Edward and I sat up front laughing at them. We congregated back into my room, and watched the movie Emmett had picked out at Castles.

"How the fuck is that supposed to be feel good?" Alice screeched, peeking through the fingers she had thrown across her face. "She has a dick in her vajayjay and a dildo in her ass. Ouch!"

Emmett laughed. "Why is her vagina all droopy looking?"

"This is fucking disgusting, dude," Edward said, chucking the remote at his brother. "Turn it off and get the fuck out. I'm done dealing with you fuckers."

Emmett ducked and retrieved the DVD. "I'm going to see if Rosie wants some play time. I have a dinosaur condom to put to use."

Edward wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. From our spot on my bed, we both turned to glare at Alice on Angela's bed. She raised her eyebrows at us. "Fine. Fine. I know when I'm not wanted. I'll leave so you two can get your freak on."

She laughed and threw the pink dildo at us as she ran out the door. I squealed and avoided the flickering pink trunk as it settled on the bed next to me. Edward laughed and picked up the rotating shaft. He glanced up at me, a gleam in his eyes.

I backed away. "Don't even think about. There is no way I'm sticking that thing in me."

"Come on, baby." Edward smiled, letting the tip of the rotating, synthetic penis trail up the inside of my thigh. "It'll be fun."

"It's disgusting!" I half moaned and half squeaked as he pressed the tip of it against the inseam of my jeans. "Do you know how many people have touched that thing?"

Suddenly, he jumped up and held out his hand to me. "Well, come on then."

"Where the fuck are we going?" I asked, reaching for his palm.

"We're going to wash this sucker up," he said, searching my drawers for the antibacterial soap I kept in there.

"And where exactly are you going to wash the hot pink dildo?"

"In the bathroom, duh."

"It's a public bathroom, Edward."

"Well then, we'll just have to be sneaky."

I reached for the towel hanging off the edge of my bed and threw it at him. "Wrap it up in that. I'm not going to get caught carrying around an elephant dildo."

We slipped outside the door and practically tiptoed down the hallway to the girls' restroom. It was deserted inside, and we made quick work of washing the fake penis.

"Get inside of the crevice," I said, pointing to where the material creased where the elephant was attached.

"I got it already, Bella," Edward said, swatting at my soapy hands.

"Well get it again. You're not the one who has stick that thing inside of you."

The creaking of the door gave us a five second warning that someone was entering the bathroom. We quickly wrapped the dildo in the towel and turned around in enough time to see Rosalie strut in wearing the same shirt we had just seen on Emmett.

She raised her eyebrow at us and eyed the towel in my arms. "This is a girls' bathroom, Edward."

"I know," he replied. "We were just leaving."

"If you make your way back, make sure you guys clean up after yourselves. I'd rather not see Edward's funky spunk all over the shower walls next time I got to wash up."

Her eyes followed as we exited. Before the door could slam shut, I couldn't help but yell back, "How was the dinosaur?"

Her muffled gasp was the only response we got as we ran down the hallway back to my room. This time we locked the door after we burst inside, gasping and laughing.

"She's going to give you so much shit tomorrow," Edward said in between laughs.

"It was worth it."

He smiled and met my eyes and the kiss that came just seemed inevitable. He was laughing; I was laughing. There was a dildo wrapped up in a towel between our flushed bodies. My fingers accidentally brushed the power button and it came to life in my hands. The rotating tip brushing each of our bodies as it went around and around.

With how long it has been since the last time we got it on, it was a natural progression when our kiss turned from sweet pecks to an I'm-tearing-your-clothes-off-now-tongue-dueling make out session.

Our clothes fell in a heap to the floor as we backed our way to the bed, falling onto green sheets. This time when his fingers met my bra clasp, there was no opposition, and the lacy material joined the rest of our clothes.

"How about we put this thing to use?" Edward said, grabbing at the pink dildo. I shuddered, half in pleasure at the fingers rubbing across my nipple, and half in disgust as he trailed the synthetic tip across my hip.

My revulsion disappeared as soon as the rotating and vibrating tip hit my clit. "Oh, God," I whispered.

Edward chuckled and trailed kisses from my neck, down between my breasts, lavishing at my belly button, before biting at the edges of my panties. "Let's get these off."

The cotton material slid down my legs easily, and Edward spread my legs wide as he settled in between them, rubbing the tip of the dildo up and down my hooha. "God, baby. You don't even know how sexy this looks."

But I did have a clue as to how it felt, and it was a-m-m-mazing.

My hips thrust up as he teased my entrance, and I moaned loud enough, so I was sure my neighbors could hear. "God, Edward. Your dick is amazing, but it doesn't do the things this thing can."

He giggled like a little girl about to receive her first Barbie doll, and began sliding the fake penis into me. I moaned as it vibrated and rotated, hitting all the right spots. I was a puddle of goo in no time. "Should I be jealous of the mock cock, babe?"

I looked down at him. He was staring with hooded eyes at where the hot pink disappeared inside of me. His finger moved, and he hit a button, turning on the flickering trunk. It hit my clit in the most delicious way. I began to thrust my hips faster as Edward pumped the dildo in and out of me.

"God, Edward. Yes! Just like that." I moaned, both hands grabbing onto opposite edges of the bed as I felt that familiar tingle in my belly. "Faster. Please, Edward. I'm so close."

My thighs clenched as his fingers spanned across my hip and up toward my nipples. His eyes never left the apex of my legs. It was kinky shit, and my mouth opened in a silent scream as a wave of pleasure washed through me.

"That's it, baby," Edward cooed, pushing the dildo against me, so the trunk flickered against my clit as rode out my orgasm.

I fell breathlessly back to the bed as Edward removed the dildo, throwing it onto the covers next to me, and climbed on top of me. "God, I'm so horny now."

I laughed, trailing my hands down his back and tugging at the elastic of his boxers. "I think these should come off."

You would have thought Emmett was standing in the hallway with a big screen TV and a six-pack of beer with how fast he stumbled off the bed. He pushed his boxers to the floor, letting them pool around his feet, not even stepping out of them before he pulled my hips toward his at the edge of the bed.

It was fast and hard, and I loved it. Grabbing himself at the base, he guided his cock to my entrance and pushed into me so fast, my hips lifted from the bed involuntarily. He stood upright as I gripped the bed sheets and wrapped my legs around his waist.

His fingers dug into my hips as backed up and then thrust foward again. The bed frame slammed against the wall, and I briefly had enough time to pity the poor neighbor who got to witness our nasty time, before he pulled back and thrust again. Glancing down, I moaned when I saw his real-life cock disappear over and over. "God, baby. That is so hot."

"Fu-. I can't. God-" He groaned. Tilting his head to the ceiling, his eyes squeezed shut as his hips met mine with slapping smacks. I could feel the bed slide on the linoleum floor as the metal frame hit the wall with echoing bangs.

Part of me felt a sort of pride that I was able to render him speechless. I held my prized vajayjay highly. However, the other part of me was pulling at his hips and didn't give a fuck how good Edward felt. It just wanted some gratification...and fast.

"Oh, Jesus, Edward," I moaned, tilting my head back, my thighs beginning that tell-tale tremble.

"God, baby." He moaned, moving his head to look down at me, a wild look in his green eyes. "I'm not going to make it."

He grabbed the pink dildo in a panicked haste and turned the flickering trunk on. He placed it near where we were joined so the pink elephant fluttered against my clit. My back arched and it was just enough to send me over the edge.

Edward squeezed his eyes shut again and moaned loudly. "Oh fuck, baby!"

We both fell into that spiral of oblivion; our satisfaction coating our bodies in sticky sweat, before silence settled in around us. The only sounds were our gasping breaths as we fought to contain them and the soft vibrations of the dildo. Edward fell forward onto me, and I wrapped my arms around his sweaty body.

"Fuck," I gasped.

He sighed. "That's just what we did."

"Not that," I said, fingering the green sheets. "We're in Angela's bed."

Edward stood up again and blinked at the wrong-colored cotton before bursting out with laughter. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her."

I laughed as he picked up my body and swung me across the short space into my bed. "You are so horrible."

Angela came back the next day to our naked bodies intertwined beneath my purple comforter; the pink dildo stashed somewhere under my bed. She ignored us as she usually did, and had no idea what had occurred on her bed. We made it through the whole year without her finding out. Before I knew it, sophomore year was up and we were packing our dorms to head home for the summer.

Charlie drove out to help me, fitting what I couldn't into my truck in his police cruiser. We made the trek across state and back to Forks.

"Where's Edward?" he asked, pulling a suitcase out of my truck and setting it into the garage.

"He and his parents stopped at a motel just outside of Vantage. They were too tired to drive the rest of the way."

"So things are still going strong with him?"

"Yep," I said, pushing a duffle bag in his direction. The zipper had snagged and it was slowly coming undone.

"How was your second year of college?" Charlie grabbed at the duffle bag handle. A soft thump vibrated on the bed of the truck as objects fought their way out and fell to the cool metal.

"Pretty dang crazy." I chuckled as memories flitted through my mind. "Know what I mean?"

I was met with silence. Turning around, I felt my jaw drop at the object that had fallen out of my broken duffle. Landing on its buttons, the pink dildo from so long ago came to life on the bed of my truck.

Its neon tip swirled against the rust and metal as the elephant trunk flickered up and down. It was like a metronome marking my way toward humiliation. Flicker up: face is beat red. Flicker down: Sweat is beginning to drip from my pores. Flicker up: Charlie has registered exactly what the object is. Flicker down: you are so fucked...

Charlie's eyes bulged as he stared at the neon silicone, but otherwise he said nothing. It took me all but the amount of time Emmett could hoover an ice cream cone to recover, and I scooped the dildo back into the duffle bag, pulling it against my chest as if it were the Holy Grail or something.

I watched as Charlie visibly swallowed. Speeches began to formulate through my mind as I debated on how to explain a pink dildo to my father. Instead, he turned and grabbed at the suitcase in the garage.

Turning back around, he waited for me to jump down from my truck, avoiding my eyes. "Crazy times, eh?"

My face was burning as I followed his lead and pretended the last moment of my life didn't happen. If Charlie was willing to forget the last ten seconds, well then, so was I.

**Author's Note:**

> The Dinosaur Condom - Because it was just to much fun - http://bit.ly/LnqNAM
> 
> The Pink Elephant Dildo - Haha! The one and only! My Alice really only paid 8 bucks for it. You guys gotta pay 25! hehe - http://bit.ly/NjoDCY


End file.
